In Which A Computer Has Ideas Above Its Station

I am so peeved, O blog reader.  You do not even know.

Okay, so I made these little mini coloring books, right?

A hand holding two small handmade booklets titled "FLOWERS" and "BUGS".
Volume 1: FLOWERS. Volume 2: BUGS.

I could do these all day.  They’re what the kids call “zines” — a regular sheet of paper folded cunningly into a little 8-page booklet.  They’re super cute and fun to make and I thought how fun they’d be for you, the bloghopping public, to print out and stick in your purse to give to the kids at the doctor’s office or whatever.

Open booklet showing simple line drawings of two flowers.
Isn’t this cute? Don’t you want half a dozen for your kids?

So I got them all carefully inked in, scanned, cleaned up, and printed out to test how they’d work as printables.

You’d think scanning in a piece of paper at its original size and resolution and then printing out same, yielding two identical pieces of paper, would be a simple operation.  But you would be WRONG.  Because the computer has an opinion on this, see, and its opinion is that it knows better than you.  Did you already carefully lay out that page, including the margins, with nearly mathematical precision?  “LOL w/e,” says the computer, and messes around with it until it fits the COMPUTER’S idea of correct margins.

Open booklet showing simple line drawings of a beetle and a ladybug.
I really hate bugs, you guys. But I drew six of them. FOR YOU.  And what do I get?

Which would be merely irritating if you were just printing out a flyer for your lost dog or whatever, but in this case I am trying to print out a page to be precisely folded in eighths.  Not to have all the edges cut off at some arbitrary distance and then folded in eighths, COMPUTER.

Tell it to just print without margins, you say?  Oh ho ho ho, my sweet summer child, that would be way too easy.  If I do that the computer says to itself, “O! so I take this scanned image that I arbitrarily shrank, right, and stretch it out again by, eh, it doesn’t really matter how much, I’ll just eyeball it even though I don’t have any eyeballs. Close enough!”  And lo, I get a printout that’s cut off in random places.

A photocopier can handle this just fine.  I don’t understand why three hunks of arguably higher technology between them can’t get it right.

So, long story short, I don’t have any cute free printables for you today.   But at least I have photos of  my cute drawings.

In Which We Don’t Go To A Movie

An open journal with pages decorated in red, black, and lime green. The left page has slanted horizontal sections; the right is decorated with stylized poppies.
Journal spread with washi tape, Pitt pen and white gel pen.

Spoiler: we didn’t go to the movie on Monday.  Or on Tuesday.  Possibly tomorrow, we’ll see.  But we are slowly chipping away at the enormous stack of Things What Need Doing.

Last night I had myself an anxiety attack, which was about as delightful as it sounds.  I stayed up half the night desperately haunting Pinterest in an attempt to distract myself enough to calm down, and something must have rubbed off because I had a BRAINWAVE.  Actually two brainwaves.  One is a plan for awesomizing my workspace, if I ever get my room clean enough to rearrange.  The other I am gonna sit on for a while.  Stay tuned.